Most people on matrimonial sites are sincere. But a small number use these platforms to take money, gifts or personal information from families who trust too quickly. The good news is that almost every scam follows a familiar pattern. Once you know it, it is much easier to spot.
The nine warning signs
1. Too perfect, too fast. A doctor abroad, a senior army officer, a business owner with a big house, all in one profile, and they are very keen on you within days. Real people take time. Pressure to commit quickly is the first red flag.
2. They avoid video calls. There is always a reason. The camera is broken, the network is bad, they are on duty. Anyone serious about marriage will happily show their face on a video call.
3. They move you off the platform at once. Asking for your WhatsApp in the first message is common for scammers. It takes you away from reporting tools and verification.
4. They ask for money for any reason. A medical emergency, a customs fee for a gift, a visa charge, a frozen bank account. The story changes but the request is the same. Never send money to someone you have not met in person with your family.
5. A parcel is "stuck at customs". You are told an expensive gift is on its way, then someone calls asking for a fee to release it. This is one of the most common scams in India.
6. Photos don't match. The photos look like a model shoot, or a reverse image search shows the same face under another name.
7. Family is never available. They say their parents will call, but it never happens. In a genuine rishta, families talk early.
8. The story keeps changing. Small details about job, city or family shift from one chat to the next. Write down what they tell you and notice the gaps.
9. They push for private photos or secrecy. Requests for personal photos, or asking you not to tell your family, are serious warning signs. Stop the conversation.
How to verify a profile
- Have at least one video call before any meeting.
- Look for verified badges for mobile, email and ID.
- Search the person's name with their company or city online, and check LinkedIn.
- For people in service, uniform photos alone prove nothing. Let the families speak.
- Ask your family to talk to their family early.
- Meet the first time in a public place, with someone from your family aware or present.
A verified badge on ShadiGiva means a check was completed. It is not a promise about how someone will behave, so keep these habits even with verified profiles.
If something feels wrong
- Stop replying. You don't owe a scammer an explanation.
- Don't send money, gift cards, OTPs or documents.
- Use the Report button on the profile so we can review and remove it.
- Save screenshots of chats, numbers and payment requests.
- If you have lost money, call the National Cyber Crime Helpline on 1930 as soon as possible, and file a complaint at cybercrime.gov.in. Quick reporting gives the best chance of stopping a transfer.
Trust, but check
Scammers depend on hope and hurry. Slow down, involve your family, and verify before you trust. A genuine match will understand and respect that.
Documents, OTPs, and payment links
A serious rishta may, much later, need a passport copy or a birth certificate for a wedding form. It does not need those files in the first week, and it never needs your OTP, your net-banking password, or a photograph of a debit card. Anyone who asks you to read out a code "so we can verify your profile" is taking over the account, not verifying it.
Treat payment links the same way. ShadiGiva membership is paid on the site, or by the bank transfer shown on the membership page, after which our team confirms the upgrade. A person in a chat who sends a different UPI ID, a QR image, or a link "to unlock contact details" is not our cashier. If you are unsure, write to support@shadigiva.com or use the contact page before you pay anyone.
People who pretend to be staff
Fraudsters sometimes pose as a relationship manager, a verification officer, or "ShadiGiva support" on WhatsApp. A real note from us will not ask for your sign-in PIN, a remote-screen app, or an extra fee to "make the profile visible." If a message claims to be from the office, check that it matches the number and email already printed on the website, and still confirm through the contact form if money is involved.
The relationship manager named on a member profile is that member's own contact for the rishta. That is different from a stranger who messages you first and claims the office sent them. When in doubt, do not continue the chat. Report the profile, and tell us what number was used.
If money has already been sent
Speed matters more than embarrassment. Tell the bank or the UPI app at once and ask them to raise a dispute. Then call the National Cyber Crime Helpline on 1930, and file a complaint at cybercrime.gov.in. Keep the UPI reference, the chat, the QR image, and the phone number. Families often wait a day because they hope the story will become true. That day is when the money is hardest to trace.
Tell one person in your family the same day. Scammers ask for secrecy because secrecy gives them time. You have not been foolish. You were targeted with a story built for hopeful families. Reporting it also helps the next family.
A slower yes is a safer yes
Before you share a home address, agree a video call with a parent in the room. Before you travel, know the other family's city from more than one source. Before you discuss gifts, remember that a demand for cash, gold, or a car as a condition of marriage is a dowry demand, and it is a reason to stop, not a detail to negotiate. Our safety centre lists how to report a profile on ShadiGiva and where emergency helplines sit if a meeting itself feels unsafe.
A genuine match survives these checks. The person who gets angry because you asked for a video call, or because you wanted your brother on the line, has told you something important. Believe that answer.
What a normal rishta looks like
It helps to know the ordinary path, so the extraordinary one stands out. A normal introduction moves slowly. Photos match a video call. A parent speaks within the first few conversations. Nobody asks for money, a customs fee, or a code from your phone. The city and the job stay the same from one week to the next. Meetings are in public until both families are comfortable.
Write those facts in a note on your phone: name, city, company, parents' names, and the date you were told each one. When a detail changes, you will see it. When it does not change, you can relax a little, and still keep the video call and the family conversation. Trust is allowed. Hurry is not required. The first meeting questions are a better use of that time than another hour of chat with someone you have never seen.